The old wisdom says that first impressions are the ones people remember. It has been said that the first impression is always right and it is always stored in the back of the mind for future reference. I guess this occasionally true, as some people and things never transcend that initial impression.
I have found out, however, by percentage, first impressions are not necessarily reliable. Of course, I have no hard data to back this up, only personal experience. My first impression of hard data was not terribly great, so I’m not using it in this instance. I understand that directly contradicts my previous statement, but it’s my column so I make the rules. Besides, fact checking is not all that common in mainstream media these days, so if I want to write that the sky is purple and the moon is made of green cheese, who can really complain?
I digress. This column is not about purple skies or green cheese. This column is about first impressions.
For instance, my wife’s first impression of me was I was smart and funny and attractive enough for her to be interested in. This is one of those times when first impressions were not terribly accurate. I’m no smarter than anyone else, I am only marginally funny, and I look in the mirror every day so I know what I look like.
What I can determine from my wife’s initial impression is she is either harboring a deep-seated affection for Phil Silvers, Richard Deacon, and that guy that does the Farmers Insurance commercials, or she is a liar who looked me right in the eye and told me an untruth when I asked her to contribute to this column.
She is now claiming she was under the influence of rum when she met me for the first time. I had a few belts of Irish whiskey at the time, so I cannot put my initial impression of her in a family newspaper. Needless to say, we connected and have been together for more than two decades.
There have been plenty of things in my life that had bad first impressions. Sometimes, it’s people. I’m not the most social type, so I am a little suspicious of just about everyone. I’m socially awkward, so my first impressions of people are usually pretty negative. It’s nothing personal, you see, I’m just a bit reserved and don’t like the awkwardness of meeting people. Everyone wants to know everything about you. I have prepared a dossier that I hand out at parties so I don’t have to tell everyone the same thing all the time. It’s not a certain type of people that gave me a bad first impression. It’s people in general these days. That said, if I press on, I will usually meet someone I connect with, regardless of the first impression.
A few years ago, I tried reading a book by a best-selling author. I figured with the subject matter, I would love his books. The first one I read was horrifically dull and I stopped reading it after about a third of the book. Only later when I read a review of the book and it said it was unlike his others did I try one of his books again. I started at the very beginning with his first and read everything he had ever written before he died. Had I gone with the first impression, I would have never read another one. The author’s son has carried on writing in the style of his father and I have read those as well.
First impressions are rarely accurate, I have found. I believe everything deserves a second look. If your first impression of something is not that great, wait a while and check it out again. You just might be surprised. Except for Brussels sprouts. They still suck.
Joe Weaver, a native of Baltimore, is a husband, father, pawnbroker and gun collector. From his home in New Bern, he (usually) writes on the lighter side of family life.
