I think I have watched everything that the streaming video services have to offer. I have exhausted Netflix and Hulu. I have run the gamut of every genre on Amazon Prime. Mickey Mouse himself asked me not to watch anything else on Disney Plus.
There are a few other streaming services, but I have discovered they basically show the same thing as the others, just at different times. For instance, if there is a particular movie on Amazon for the month of April, it might show up on Netflix in May.
A lot of the television networks have streaming services as well. My wife and I burned through about seven free trials to complete watching one of our favorite shows. I have a smart TV and found a few more streaming services, but they don’t interest me much. I don’t really have a need for 24 hours of World Championship Wrestling or dirty movies. I got the channels mixed up during a free trial period and was quite confused as to what Wrestlemania had turned into. I didn’t even know Hulk Hogan could do that, albeit upside down.
I have found myself watching a lot of YouTube. At first, I thought I could watch music videos that I remember from the ‘80s, but I got bored. I tried watching some how-to videos and realized I didn’t really want to bother learning about cleaning my andirons because we don’t have any and I don’t recall ever using our fireplace.
I was able to diagnose an issue with my wife’s car, though and I was able to repair it for about $3 without having to involve the dealership. I also learned how to perform an appendectomy, but I think I will leave that to the experts. I will say the video was quite thorough and, if the situation warrants it, I’m sure I could give it a whirl. I mean, I didn’t screw up the car when I fixed it.
There is a video on YouTube of a cartoon chicken screaming for two hours and 12 minutes. I think I made it through about an hour of it before I fell asleep. A lot of you are wondering how I fell asleep with a chicken screaming for two hours but I grew up in a rural area. It’s harder for me to fall asleep without chickens making noise, if you really need to know. I liked the movie the chicken was in and he’s quite funny when he is not screaming. He screams a lot, but I figure that’s what cartoon chickens do. I don’t recall any of them being particularly well-spoken. Except for Foghorn Leghorn, but I don’t remember him screaming for two hours.
I like searching for cover versions of songs I like. Some are good and some are not. Some of the ones that are not are more fun to watch than the ones that are pretty good. You haven’t lived until you hear a Polish barbershop quartet do a rousing rendition of “The Locomotion” or a reggae version of “The Song Of The Volga Boatman.”
A lot of the time, you just have to type in the name of the song and about a thousand versions pop up. What they don’t tell you is you will spend a few hours of your day listening to every possible version of the song. I did this once with “Copacabana” and fell asleep while listening to a Spanish version. My wife was quite impressed when I was doing some light yard work and singing “Copacabana” in fluent Spanish. I don’t like Barry Manilow and I don’t speak Spanish.
When all this nonsense is over, I’ll be glad to interact with people again. I might actually go out and listen to actual live music. I hear there’s a barbershop quartet from Warsaw that’s pretty good.
Joe Weaver, a native of Baltimore, is a husband, father, pawnbroker and gun collector. From his home in New Bern, he writes on the lighter side of family life.
