I imagine this happens to everyone, but today it happened to me.
I woke up normally, my two alarms making sure I was out of bed. I did what I usually do in the morning before work and before long, I was showered, dressed, and ready to face the day.
I don’t usually eat breakfast, but I do make a cup of coffee for the ride into work. Yesterday, I forgot my coffee on the kitchen counter, so it would make more sense for today to have happened yesterday, but it didn’t. I guess all the stars aligned today so I could “enjoy” my day.
The morning was ordinary and routine and the only thing that was different was I had to defrost my windshield before pulling out of the driveway. That wasn’t so bad, because I have satellite radio and heated seats in the car and I had a fresh cup of hot coffee. I don’t wait as well as I used to, but this wasn’t bad. In fact, the morning was so routine, I had no reason to suspect what was coming.
I got to work at about the normal time. There wasn’t much traffic and my commute is pretty dull anyway. There was one moment when I thought I was going to get pulled over because I drove past an idling highway patrolman at five miles over the speed limit. I did not get pulled over, and as I drove past, I am pretty certain he didn’t even raise his head to look at my car. I don’t drive anything that draws attention like a sleek Italian sports car, but a boring silver four-door late-model sedan. There is a decal on one corner of the back window for my wife’s knitting group, so I don’t think I look like much of a threat.
You are probably wondering where this is leading. After all, the first sentence of the column was a big tease. I can tell you in advance that it is nothing life changing or earth shattering. It’s quite simple really.
After I got to work, I realized that, for reasons I did not know, I was in a tremendously bad mood. More than a little sour, I mean I was downright PO’d.
Why?
Jeez, I don’t know. I just was.
I really wasn’t in the mood to deal with people, and of course, today was incredibly peopley. Someone asked me a question and it was a dumb one. Yes, I know how nasty that sounds, but it was a question like, “What time does the nine o’clock bus get here?” One of those questions that makes your brain take a second and think, “What the hell was that?” You’ve heard them before, and you have thought that you somehow stepped into a huge intellectual vacuum and your brain is the only one working at any sort of normal capacity.
For most of the morning, my conversations, either in person or on the phone, were like this. I was trying to figure out what could get me through the day and most of the ideas I was coming up with involved some sort of potent liquor.
I apologized to the guy I was working with in advance. I told him he had done nothing wrong and I was not upset with him in any way. He asked me if I had any idea of what was bugging me and I told him I didn’t. All I knew was this was the day I was glad I did not have control of the so-called nuclear football, because I certainly would have run it for the touchdown to end all touchdowns and by the evening commute we would all be glowing in the dark.
I’m home now and working on the column. I have had a delicious dinner and I have played with cats. Cooper spent some time on my lap after dinner and had to get up so I could write the column. I assured him we would play later, so he was appeased for a little while. I figured I owed myself a beer, so I am having one.
I would like to apologize to all those I was snappy with today, especially the gentleman driving the blue Chevrolet that I angrily passed on the way home. He wasn’t going that slow and I was just being impatient. Had I known you were a priest, I probably would not have given you the finger.
Forgive me father, for I have sinned.
Joe Weaver, a native of Baltimore, is a husband, father, pawnbroker and gun collector. From his home in New Bern, he writes on the lighter side of family life.
